Help!

I am 23 years old. When I was 15 I broke my virginity with a brush just to keep up with the lies that I told the first guy I ever had sex with. I told him I was not a virgin. I have had this secret buried inside for so long. I have been in other relationships since. Hell, we, were not even in a relationship back then. I cannot believe that I was so blind. I cannot seem to let this secret go. I just need to cope with it. But I dk how. I think it is affecting my mental health & relationships.