Sex & Relationships
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Boyfriend using me?
So my boyfriend in the beginning told me he only dates smart women, I'm a civil engineer. And I respected that, I want to date smart men, however he just has a BA in criminal justice and went to community college. I later learn that he wouldn't date women with masters degrees because they didn't have high paying careers at the time. I then asked him, so you don't nessasarily want an intelligent woman but a financially suscussful woman? He then said ya that's right. I kinda felt like wow u only wanted to date me bc I made a decent amount of money, had a substantial savings, owned my car outright and owned 25% of my 250k house at 26. He paid for the first few dates that were cheap and a few bar tabs of like $50 bucks. Then he would suguest I split things. This made me uncomfortable as if he didn't want to pay, I just would and we could take turns. He got the idea and we alternated paying for things. He would forget his wallet or his card wouldn't work (he would need to "transfer" money a lot). For the most part he did pay for a lot of things but always had me sign the recite and add the tip to his card, I think he did this to remind me that the date wasn't free. He would offer things and never deliver. He would ask for lavish gifts. And there are just so many things that makes me believe he isn't with me because he loves me, he just wants me around to pay half the rent and utilities. He demanded we rent such a large and expensive house it is going to leave me pinching penny's to put gas in my 15 yr old honda accord and keep my daughter in litterally the cheapest decent in home day care I could find. And now he is demanding I pay hefty deposits bc he got screwed over on things that r not my fault, like the gov didn't pay for the move because he didn't follow instructions and weigh the truck to calculate the weight of house hold goods and our last landlord is charging us bogus fines. And he is super rude to me out of no where. He dosnt kiss or hug me unless I do everything he asks (like go to bed at 10pm, 10:30 would be a fight) or I work too much (I have to so I can afford to pay half for the things he makes me pay. I have a kid and a lot of expenses he dosnt have, health insurance ect.. He is military, when we moved he had a job and paycheck I didn't)
Is he using me? Or is this a normal expectation from a man?