Pregnancy woes

Katie • Mommy to be to a little boy 💙💙
First off, let me say this. I am so extremely grateful that I am pregnant with my little man. Especially considering I was due to have a hysterectomy due to a heart condition I have that would make pregnancy too hard for my heart to handle. I found out I was pregnant 2w before the surgery but didn't want to get my hopes up. I knew I could get pregnant, it was staying pregnant that was an issue. My fiance (now ex due to his infedility) and I were comfortable in the fact it would just be us and our Maine Coone cats as we were also told by adoption agencies that they would not give us a baby due to my health. So my little man is a complete blessing and I am so grateful for him, so I don't want anyone to think I regret him or anything close to that. I am trying to enjoy pregnancy bc it will be my only pregnancy as I will have a hysterectomy after I am induced and have him bc my heart has had too much strain. With that being said, I absolutely hate being pregnant. I was put on bed rest at a little over 20w due to my heart condtion (my BP was bottoming 2-3 times a month bc I had to stop all my heart medications when I found out I was pregnant) so bedrest was determined best. My stomach looks like sasquatch and I mated lol, I have headaches, no pregnancy glow, and I have HG (which caused me to lose 20lbs the first trimester). I have had horrible hemorrhoids and constipation. I am in constant pain due to my heart and I feel like a whale, a beached whale to be exact lol and everyone tells me my bump is too huge for 21w...which makes me feel worse. I love feeling my son kick and I love the bond him and I are forming and I want to keep him safe so all of this is worth it to me knowing he is healthy. I would go through everything and anything if it keeps him safe, which is why I feel bad for complaining. I am posting this bc we are all due around the same time and this is suppose to be a community that we can go to when we have issues or concerns so other moms can relate and we don't feel so alone. Has anyone else felt similar to this or am I horrible mother for hating pregnancy, even though it's a miracle that I am pregnant in the first place. Please don't be too harsh. I'm mainly venting and I am sorry if this offends anyone, that wasn't my intentions.