Just Waiting

I'm just sitting here waiting to be pregnant and I'm bored out of my f*cking mind. I'm driving my husband nuts. I thought I'd be a soccer mom with zero minutes of free time by now. And I'm still just sitting here bored waiting to be pregnant. Waiting to feed the baby that I don't have. Waiting to organize play dates. Waiting to do stupid little mommy and me shit. But my babies are dead and my uterus is hostile so here I am waiting. And ask my husband, I am the most impatient person on this planet. What the hell am I supposed to do?