I love my son. I love him so much. I love the name we picked for him, the clothes we picked, his smile, his tiny laugh. I love holding him. I love waking up in the middle of the night to feed him and I love seeing his Daddy hold him. I love that we made this tiny life together, his Daddy and I. I love that he has his Daddy's eyes and my nose. He is precious beyond words.

The only problem?

He isn't real.

He's only in my dreams. He's only there for a glimpse each night, and then I wake up to pee on a test, to get that BFN. I love him. I just wish everyone could see the beautiful face I see each night. I know I might sound crazy, I understand that. But any woman who has been TTC only to find out she's become infertile will understand the pain and sadness that I experience each morning when I wake up to realize it's not real. I have baby #1, and I'm grateful for her. There's a lot of woman who can't conceive at all. I'm thankful I got the chance before becoming infertile. Let's hope this medication works and that he'll be a reality soon, too, just like my daughter!