So confused with life
Sorry this is going to be long, I hope someone reads it. But I felt like I should ask this group because you guys are mormon and will understand where I'm coming from when other groups probably won't!
My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. I told myself that if we ever got back together things would have to change. We broke up because of our different opinions for our lives. I wanted to get married soon, he didn't want to any time soon. There are a few others but that was the main one. We had a really good relationship, we loved (still love) each other so much and we were always happy together. We're each other's best friends.
At first nothing changed, he still had the same opinions. But now things have changed. He told me he was sorry for never compromising, because I always did and he never would, and that he should have just proposed and that he can't be happier with anyone else as much as he can with me. And just stuff like that. Before he said all of this to me I felt like I was really making progress in being happy and being okay with not being with him. But now hearing all this confused me so much and I feel like emotionally I have taken 5 steps back.
I also really want to get married in the temple but I can't with him because he isn't mormon. Besides that I love basically everything about him. And we had such a good connection with each other. It sucks that I can't be sealed to him, but it is really important to me and he wouldn't be willing to become a mormon, he's not religious at all.
I also started emailing someone I knew in my youth who is on his mission and he comes home in July. I really want to give him a shot and see where it goes. But I don't want my ex to feel like he missed out on his only love and chance to be happy. I really care about him and I want him to be happy. I just don't think I can marry him because we can't get married in the temple. I wish I could.
My patriarchal blessing tells me that I will be sealed in the temple to a man who holds the preistood. That does not apply to my ex. I know things can change and maybe he could eventually become mormon, but you shouldn't look at things that way because that might not happen. That's best case senario.
I just don't know what to do because I don't want my ex feeling this way. I have no idea if I should be with him or give this other guy a shot. I mean I could give this other guy a shot, and if it didn't work out with him then I'd know I'm supposed to be with my ex. But if it works out with the other guy, I don't want my ex to feel terrible.
I know marriage is a really important decision and I don't want to make the wrong decision. I'm going to be 22 this year so I feel like I need to figure all of this out ASAP. I know some people will think, "but you're still so young!" But I don't think that way. I want to work towards marriage soon. I just want to know what I'm supposed to do. I even try to pray about it but I still don't know. Any advice?
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