Feeling awful...

This is one of my roughest days since being told I had a mmc. I took another test this morning and it's not getting darker... If anything it looks a little lighter. I've given up hope that I'm pregnant. 3 days later it should definitely be darker. Now I'm either havinga chemical pregnancy or more likely something is left from the d and c. I feel like garbage. I can't stop crying. It's like I'm having  a breakdown.  I don't think I can handle going to work today where I would have to work with my pregnant manager who got pregnant right when I miscarried. It's too much for me today. I just keep asking God why?? Why me? I've been through so much in my life. My dad nearly dying 2 times. My mom getting diagnosed with breast cancer last year and my little brother passing away from cancer just a few months before I miscarried... It's all too much for one family to take on...I'm just having a really hard day. I know I can't give up hope 100% but I kinda have... If the lines aren't getting darker it isn't good.. I guess all I can do is call the doctor and get an appointment. I really don't wNt to go through another d and c and wait yet another month or two to try again...