"Pray for me"

Okay so I was doing so well with my 28/29 day cycles then the world must have spun off its rocker because I had a 54 cycle and then a 30 and right now I am on cd40 hubby thinks I need to test he feels really hopeful but I feel like I will just be disappointed I am waiting to here from the doctor to schedule with reproductive health but I just want this to be it and I wish I had a magic sign that said yes go test like I don't even have the urge to test I have kind of given up hope I think .... My temps have yet to break 97* and I have no signs of anything just some EWCM but that is a sign i don't think I want to see ugh I am just frustrated... Happy Tuesday!! 🌷✨