My period changed since 30, what's my day 1?

Alison • Finally pregnant after 5-1/2 years and losing my mother on 11/1/18. I got pregnant the week she died and just before my husband got a vasectomy. I never thought it would happen for me. Life sure is crazy!
I have always spotted 2-3 days before my periods but it was usually the brown spotting. Since my 30's my period has changed. I still spot 2 days prior to an actual flow, but it's usually one day brown the second is red the third is a heavy flow then it's back to very light flow or dark spotting for 2-3 more days til I'm done. 
I'm so confused as to what my day 1 is anymore!! My fertility doc says first day of actual flow, my OB says first sign of red blood! What do you ladies go by?

Glow Resources

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

Glow helps you navigate your fertility journey with smart tools, personalized insights, and guidance from medical experts who understand what matters most.

25+ million

Users

4.8 stars

200k+ app ratings

20+

Medical advisors