I don't know what to do.

I try to explain to my SO that my anxiety makes things worse for me, and therefore I'm very irrational about things, I try ton calm myself and make me believe it's not as bad, so i don't look crazy but I feel crazy. Everyday.

He doesn't help when he gets mad and yells things, that hurt, like these three years have been a waste with you.. Like what? He never means it and feels great regret after, but you already said it.. It's in my head.

I just want to be normal.

I don't want depression.

I don't want anxiety.

I don't want people thinking I'm crazy.

What am I suppose to do?!