CHILD CUSTODY ISSUE (im the child) please help/give advice..

This is not anything menstrual cycle related but i just needed some advice and i figurer a lot of people here help me out.

My parents have been divorced since i was two and despise eachother. A couple (2,3?) years ago my dad went to court with an issue and saying he wanted full custody. Before this, custody had been split evenly, but because of this my dad has primary custody and now my mom only has visitation rights. The issue was because of my underage drinking, which was my fault and not something my mother condoned or knew about or anything like that. But my dad fought and fought and got primary custody. This was a few years ago. Now, 2 weeks ago i snuck out of the house and accidently over dosed on sleeping pills. It was a complete accident, i did not sneak out of the house to get messed up or do drugs etc. It was a spur of the moment thing and i had been clean for about maybe a year to two years without getting involved in self injurious behavior. Im in therapy now. I snuck out, od'd, made it back to the house somehow (i have memory loss. I dont remember absolutely anything from when i took the pills to about 12 or more hours after, and after that things are very fuzzy) and my mom took me to the hospital.

Now, THE ISSUE: my dad wants to bring this to court and " just let them decide what to do". But he wants me to never go back to my moms, but he understands that that is unreasonable. My mom is moving a couple states away soon, and as of now i see her every other weekend (thats twice a month). She expects to leave in october, so thats only like 12 more times i get to see my mom before she leaves. My fear is that this will happen, or, that i will not get any say what so ever, or if i do, it will not be taken seriously. Because that is what happened last time. Ive talked to my dad about this and he feels he knows what is best and even though she is leaving soon he feels i am not safe there. I dont think this is fair. I dont want to lose my mom. Im scared. My grandfather is comming up from Florida (where my mom is moving, we live in jersey right now) this weekend and my dad wants to hand in papers to the courts tomorrow or tonight. My grandfather is dying. Hes on his way to jersey for a wedding but is coming early so he can see me and my brother and my mom. I dont want my mistake to ruin that. I feel that i should be responsible for this because my mom had no knowladge and took care of me when she saw how messed up i was asap. I just, i really need help and advice. I didnt know where else to go to and i never even really use this app.... For referance, im 16. I turn 17 in a few months. God bless