I'm just getting worse *rape tw*

🐠Myra • 20. Female. I ❤️cats
I was raped July 3rd 2014. I reported it to the police right away. They basically called me a liar. Since then I never went to therapy because I'm terrified the therapist will call me a liar and I'm paranoid all the time. I feel like he's watching me even tho my logical fucking side knows that's not true. And I have a moped but I hate taking it to work because I'm scared that if it breaks down or something someone is going to come along and rape me or hurt me and I just get so scared and I hate being alone and I don't like strangers and it sucks because I work at a gas station and I have to find a new job and I can't just quit and I hate it because I always feel  terrified because I'm always afraid my rapist will come into my gas station and try to hurt me or some other bad person will come on and try to rape me and I know I sound stupid and I probably am stupid but I'm just fucking panicked all the time and I don't even know how to deal with it anymore. I'm sorry.