8 months of trying, ended in miscarriage

Lani • Pregnant with our 1st 😍
My husband and I have been TTC for 8 cycles. First of all, nothing worked for me. I took my temperature every morning and never was able to identify a thermal shift. I took ovulation tests. One month I tried to use the cheap ones and they were ALL positive. Another month, I spent more money on the Clearblue digital and they were all negative. I had an ovarian cyst a few months ago so they did ultrasounds of my ovaries. The doctor told me I had multiple cysts on both ovaries and my ovaries are on the large end of the normal scale. So, I think PCOS but the doc said it was fine. After that, I proceeded to freak out. Finally, I begged the doc to give me a referral to OB/GYN to figure out what's going on with my ovaries and why I'm having such a hard time getting pregnant. We were having sex so much, at minimum every other day which is exhausting when I work 12 hour days. So, I go to OB/GYN and the nice nurse there tells me nothing is wrong with my ovaries, I had multiple maturing follicles and that is perfectly normal and what you want to see for TTC. I felt relieved. She told me to keep trying but stop trying so hard. Stop all the tracking, temp, opks, stop driving myself crazy TTC. That's not how I want to start motherhood. I took her advice to heart. My husband and I just had sex when we felt like it and the very next cycle, we got pregnant! I got my positive hpt on CD19, super early. My cycles are about 28 days spot on. I was pretty happy the past few weeks and then I miscarried. It just feels like I got my period. But, I lost my baby at 5 weeks, the one we tried so hard for 8 months. They say it's normal, doesn't mean I won't get pregnant again but it's still hard. I know it's better than a late-term miscarriage, but I am still more than sad. I'm afraid now of what will happen if I get pregnant again.
  

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