Will your husband help?

Question

I'm a ftm and I was wonderin if it would be wrong of me to ask for help from my so if I'm the stay at home mom and he works? In so overwhelmed because he is only awake before work for an hour and he leaves and when he comes home he goes straight to bed.

Answer

Thanks guys. I was worrying myself because our little guy will be here in less than four weeks and i feel so overwhelmed. I was worrying about how I was going to handle being a ftm by myself since he is all I have because my family lives so far away. I appreciate him working so I can raise our son but I also feel like I may need an hour or two to myself every day to make sure I can shower and remain sane but I also don't want to come off as being selfish. When I brought it up to him, he actually surprised me. He said babe I work all night so when I get home I'm going to be excited to see my son I'll miss him. So maybe it won't be as bad as I'm stressing it to be.

Answer

So, this isn't the common cultural message, but a lot of men want to help and be involved with their children. My husband comes home, and we eat dinner as a family. Then, we clean up dinner together and put the kids to bed together. He enjoys being involved and spending time with the kids, and I know other dads who feel the same way. We clean the house and do yard work as a family on weekends. My husband also likes to cook and bake on the weekend because it's a fun hobby for him and it's something that helps out a lot. We pretty much look at everything as a team effort. I am solely responsible for laundry, packing lunches, and paying bills, but mostly we work together.

Now, it wasn't always like this! But we got to this point through a lot of communication. I had to learn how to "let it go" if he did something differently than me. I also make sure to say "thank you" and notice when he's been helping. Start by talking with him, and see what he is willing and able to do. Good luck!

Answer

Yes. It's ok to ask for help. I'm SAHM and my hubby helps. Since I'm pregnant again, he helps a lot more. You and your husband can define your own family/marriage roles. If you're feeling overwhelmed, he should help....even if it's just coming up with a plan of action to alleviate stress or your work load. First babies can be a shock! :)

Answer

I don't think it's wrong at all. I currently moved back to NC because my husband got back from deployment so I am as of right now without a job. My husband knows that pregnancy (first trimester sickness) has been kicking my butt and draining me out so he will do the dishes and things like that. I never ask for much, never have, so he knows when I ask him for help he knows I really need it. My mother in law was actually the one who told me to ask for help more. I'm too stubborn half the time to do so haha 😊

Answer

I don't think it's wrong to ask for help, even if your husband works. We decided together that I would stay home when the baby comes. I expressed to him multiple times about things that I would have to do, and he always reassures, and corrects the I to "we". Even though he has a rigorous work schedule, I know he'll do what he can. Sacrifices will come from both ends, and we'll work together as it should be.

Answer

It's all a partnership. You both have to be able to relax now and then.

Answer

Does your husband work graveyards? His schedule sounds like my husbands and he works nights. While he won't be helping much during the day it will be nice that on his days off he will take night shift since he's up half the night anyways. Don't be afraid to ask, being a ftm is stressful and a huge change and yes you do need some time to yourself even if it is just to shower. If he's a loving husband he will understand do what he can to be there for you. Also don't be afraid to put the baby in a safe place, like his/hers crib, and walk away for a few minutes. Everyone needs a minute to breathe and doing so won't make you a bad parent. That was the biggest thing I struggled with being a ftm. Best of luck to you!! 💖

Answer

My boyfriend has told me that when he gets home from work the baby belongs to him and I'm to keep my hands off her lol he's joking of course but he says it's gonna be daddy/daughter bonding time while they watch dodger games 😊

Answer

You're going to be a stay at home mom, not a stay at home wife. His job is to work and provide, yours is to raise your baby. As long as he doesn't take you for granted, he's part of the household too

Answer

I ask my husband for help when I feel sick or tired otherwise I don't since he come home tired and making money for us.

Will your husband help?

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