Well, I'm 27

Well, I'm 27. I have 2 little boys, that I consider to be miracles. I was told I was never going to have children, because of all the scar tissue on my Fallopian tubes. I hooked up with my now husband, and the very first time I had gotten pregnant. I was on birth control to control my cramping, but was at the time, on an antibiotic which made my birth control not as effective. I was pregnant with my first son zakk! I was surprised and unprepared, but I took it on like a champ and survived. 
​We then wanted to try for a girl, but I miss carried. We tried again and were blessed with my littlest boy Alex. 
​5 years later we decided one more time to try for a girl, to our devastation we miss carried at 12 weeks. This one was harder than the time before. I had to have a D & C because my body wouldn't rid itself of my unborn baby, I started to get an infection so we decided it was the best thing for me.
​We've been trying for a year, and now I'm testing positive again. This time I'm really nervous and scarred. Not because I'm pregnant, but because it may just go away again.  I'm nervous my body will fight it again and not let it happen. I'm afraid to get excited and be happy about it. Every little thing that happens, has me paranoid. I don't want to see the doctor too soon because I'm afraid they won't find a heart beat, or they'll find a heart beat and it will stop. I'm afraid to want this so bad and for it to just not happen.  I think about it all the time, but I'm just waiting to see what's going to happen. The waiting and patience is the hardest part.