Does anyone else feel this way?

Question

I'm glad that my baby boy was born healthy despite being 36 weeks gestation because of my preeclampsia and I'm so grateful for the emergency c-section because of that, but I feel really let down that I never got to labor. I'm a mom who has no idea what it feels like to birth a child because I had a c-section and I feel even worse for recovering a lot faster from it than most.

Answer

I can relate to you!  With my first born I felt like a failure.  After 36 hrs of being in labor I never fully dialated and as a result I ended up getting a c section. Not only did I feel like I failed in delivering my own child.  The worst part for me I felt like I tortured my own child for all this time while I was laboring.  The second time around I wanted vback but when at 40 weeks I was still at 0 cm I opted for a second c section but this time around it was planed because at the end of the day the most important thing to me is my children's safety.  Don't feel guilty for not being able to deliver vaginaly.  The most important thing is you have a healthy child and you are healthy as well.

Answer

You are not alone in feeling this way! My baby is 10.5 weeks old. I labored for almost 24 hours before my c section, had complications and a tough recovery. I felt sad and like I'd failed to have a normal delivery, and it took me a few weeks to bond with my baby as a result of all of this.

Yesterday I was talking to two moms who had c sections 5 weeks ago about how they feel sad and guilty and like they failed (while at the same time super happy with their babies and being moms) and I realized that at some point in the last month, those feelings finally went away for me. I'm still learning to be a mom and I definitely get down sometimes, but I no longer worry about the delivery as much. So while it's normal to feel the way you do, those feelings should go away soon!

Answer

I had a planned c section with my one and only Bub last Friday as my pelvis was too narrow .. Bub was born 7.1lbs and I was told she never would have fit thru. I'm thankful it was planned and I had time to mull it over, I always think of the positives; that bubs was healthy and that I didn't have to recover from "two" labors... It's a lot harder to recover from going into natural labor then a c sect. I am also looking forward to the fact I may be able to have my second baby earlier as I will have to have a c section for that pregnancy also :) there is always a silver lining and it's important to focus on that rather than the negatives. As long as baby's here and safe, you've done well.

Answer

It was nice to read all these responses to know I'm not alone. I planned a natural birth (for months!), but after about 13 hours and only getting to 3.5cm, I caved an got an epidural. I already felt like a failure for that. Then after 30 hours, pushing for 4, baby just wouldn't descend and I had a c section. Double failure. I was devastated. I cried uncontrollably both in the hospital and after at home. I had many people tell me that it didn't matter how the baby came, but it was from those who had vaginal births and I felt like they didn't understand. I know all that matters is that baby and I are both healthy, but I felt like my birth experience was taken from me. A vaginal birth is like a rite of passage that I may never get to experience :(

Answer

I can't even think about delivery because it was so traumatic. I had to be induced, her heart rate kept dropping, 2 failed epidurals, a failed direct dose, the decided to do a section. Failed spinal block, I had to be put completely under. I woke up 3 hours later after everyone else got to see her. I couldn't see straight and was shaking because of the medications. I just looked at our pictures for the first time the other day and I looked absolutely miserable the first time I met our daughter. That was supposed to be the happiest moment of my life.

Answer

I absolutely felt this way.  My little dude was breach, so we had a scheduled c section. I've got a perfect little 2 1/2 week old boy, but have no idea what a contraction or my water breaking feels like.  I walked into the hospital at 5:30am to check in, walked down the hall to the operating room at 7:30am, and had a baby by 8:15am.  Weirdest feeling ever.

Answer

My water broke way before I had any other signs of labor, so the doc was already concerned about the timeframe in which he was going to be delivered.  I had intended on a natural delivery, but due to the situation I ended up having to have assistance via pitocin for contractions, and wasn't progressing after 22 hours of labor.  I spiked a fever during delivery, which according to the doctor indicated I had contracted an infection, and now my baby was at risk as well and destined for the NICU regardless of my delivery method.  Unfortunately, my fever didn't go down, and my baby began to also go into distress, and I was still only 5cm which meant I had no choice.  All that being said, even though I know I had no choice and did what I needed to do to ensure he came out safely, I still feel like a failure.  There is s a stigma around women having c sections, and having one somehow makes us less of a "real woman".  I wish I'd had the opportunity to experience a vaginal birth, and feel like I was robbed of that privilege.  BUT...  I look at my sweet little boy and know that either way, it was completely worth every bit of it.

Answer

I had my baby nearly six weeks ago via emergency c-section after 52 hours of labour. I still feel awful about it, especially as I had spent so long preparing myself for a natural, drug-free labour.

Answer

Yes!! 
I had a c section 20hrs after being induced and it was an easy recovery but I just want the chance to deliver vaginally!
I think there is some ingrained desire to have that opportunity. 
I'm hoping to vbac with this one!

Answer

I pushed for 2.5 hours before they said I had to have a c section I was so upset and mad I cried until my baby came out

Does anyone else feel this way?

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