I don't know how I've been feeling lately. After 2 months, we've only seen each other twice, but I'm still crazy about you. I thought when the season ended you would have more time for me, but that doesn't seem to be the case. You were the one that pointed out that our relationship was mostly sex and talking about it and that you wanted to make sure you didn't hurt me.

Well, I am hurting. I'm lonely. I miss you. I want to see you, but I'm starting to feel like you don't care like you said you did a week ago. And I can't even imagine having a conversation with a new man because I care about you so freaking much. I've felt like crying every day this week, but I've been holding those tears back.

I don't know how to tell you how I feel because I'm so afraid of my feelings. I feel like I'm shutting you out because I don't know how to deal with a relationship, even though we really aren't in one. I know you care, but it doesn't seem like either of us knows how to handle this...

I wish I knew how to tell you these things.