At 33 weeks, I was hospitalized with a bad kidney infection (high fever, WBC count, so much blood in urine that it was basically dark brown and red) for 4 days. This happened again at 38 weeks for another 5 days.

My doctor decided to induce on my due date because I was so sick and in a great deal of pain. We planned to induce at 6am on May 20th in the high risk unit, where I'd previously spent those 9 days. 

The day before my induction, I threw up all day and blamed it in nerves. At 4am, I had a low grade fever of about 100 degrees. So, I was dehydrated and it took about 2 hours for the nurses to get an IV started. It was 8:30am by the time I got my first dose of Pitocin. 

At 9am, my temperature was 103.8 degrees and the baby's heart rate was around 200. My OB said we had to do a c-section and scheduled it for 12:15pm. At 10am, my fever was over 104 degrees and I had chills so bad that my teeth were chattering. They said we had to go to the OR immediately, and they wouldn't tell me anything else. They had ice packs all over my body. They didn't even give my husband time to change and come with me. They said I had to be stabilized first. That was when I realized I wasn't stable and things were not okay. Nobody would tell me anything and they turned the monitors away from my sight so I couldn't look for myself.

They put me on the operating table and I had a spinal. They told me my son would probably have to go to NICU and I may not get to see him yet. They told me not to panic if I didn't hear him cry. I asked for my husband and they told me he could come in soon.

My OB and another surgery started and people were pushing on my chest to try and help get the baby out. I am a small person and I thought my ribs were going to be broken. My husband finally walked in and I didn't like the way he was looking at me. He looked nervous and scared and that frightened me.

And then, at 11:03am, I heard my baby crying. I sobbed with relief. They called my husband over after a minute or two and I heard one of the nurses say, "oh thank heavens! He is perfect. He is doing so well." They turned on a monitor with a big flat screen that showed me my baby being weighed and cleaned off and examined. He was the pinkest, most beautiful baby I'd ever seen in my life. And he was all mine. 

Everett James was 7lbs 10oz and 20 inches long. He did not have to go to NICU and I did hold my baby that day and every day after that. He had a temperature of 102.7 at birth but it came down when we did skin-to-skin in the recovery room. 

I spent 5 more days in the high risk unit after the surgery. My catheter was not removed for 4 days and I was on three antibiotics via IV for all 5 days. My white blood cell count was 26,000 and I was in an enormous amount of pain. I was kept on a dilaudid pain pump for most of the stay but asked to change to oral meds on day four so they'd consider discharging me. I wanted to go home with my baby and bond with him without all the doctors and specialists and nurses.

He is such a good baby and his dad and I are thrilled that we chose to do this. Breastfeeding has helped is form a strong bond already. He was worth every ounce of the pain and worry. I love him so much.

When I was being rolled into the operating room, I felt like my body was broken. And then I saw his face, and he made me whole again.