Not for the faint of heart! Warning :/
I don't know how to go about venting this particular thing without possibly inciting sadness in those around me. It's a tad bit morbid, but those of us that have had miscarriages know the feeling.
I'm currently undergoing a missed miscarriage. My baby died at 8 weeks and I would be 11 weeks today. So my baby has been dead inside of me for 3 weeks. I'm so disturbed and traumatized by this. I feel as if I can't go on with my daily life because it's still in me.
And as much as I want it to pass so that I can begin to heal, I'm TERRIFIED of having a natural miscarriage at home. I will be curious and look for my baby in the blood :( and I don't want that picture burned in my memories. It's bad enough I have the last ultrasound and the flatline burned in there. I don't want to have to give birth to my lifeless baby at home.
All of this has been so traumatic, as if I'm living in a strange morbid nightmare every single day. When will it end? Even after I miscarry or have a d&c I'll bleed for weeks and be reminded everyday. It seems so cruel and unusual.
I look pregnant. My body is still "pregnant" so I feel pregnant too, and I hate it! I hate it so much. My baby is gone and it's as if my body is playing a huge joke on me. When will it end 😢
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