Struggling here...

AF is now 4 days late and sometimes I totally feel pregnant and other times I dont. I took a test last week and Im sure I saw a faint positive, but I got a 50/50 response so I'm not sure.... I'm trying to wait it out and not test, but I'm pretty sure this is going down. I wanted to wait until I'm a week late before retesting; since I have a miscarriage followed by a chemical pregnancy, and was honestly trying to not conceive last month....

What if I am... and I lose it again?? What if I dont? What if I'm not?? My head is spinning!!