Am I the only one?

So here I am... I'll be 5 weeks pregnant monday. I have 1 son who is 3.5 years old. Since then I've had 2 miscarriages. The 2nd time I told my hubby I was pregnant he was happy but it ended in a loss while he was deployed. I got pregnant again when he got home. Told him. He wasn't really excited at all. I get it he didn't want to get excited just for something bad to happen.....

Now I'm pregnant for the 3rd time since my son. I've known for almost a week and have no desire to tell him. I'm half tempted to just wait till I make it to 12 weeks to tell him.... unless he notices before then. The half happy response hurts. half of me wants to surprise him for father's day... and the other half is like screw that. Just 8 more weeks of secrecy and I can happily say we are in a "safe" zone.