When is too young??

Question

My son recently turned 9 and was going to his father's house for 2 weeks straight so I decided to buy him a prepaid cellphone so that we could talk whenever we wanted. Well he's back home now and I decided to go through his phone and saw that his father text him one morning bashing me (we have been separated for almost 4 years and are both in other relationships). I've been struggling if 9 is too young for a cellphone in the first place but now I'm not sure about talking to him about the text because I don't want him to feel like I betrayed his trust and start hiding things from me at such an early age and I doubt saying anything to his father would do anything except make the situation worse. Anyone else been through something like this??

Answer

I would find a round about way to talk to him about his father talking badly about you.  If he did it on a text he has done it before.  Tell him people shouldnt talk badly about others, it isnt nice.  But sometimes people, even adults, get so angry we behave badly.  And then tell him you love him and would never be angry at him if his father talked badly about you.

Answer

My oldest lives with his dad and he has a cell phone on my plan with my husband. We told him when we gave him the phone that we had the right at any time to take the phone and go through it and read any text messages that are on the phone.  So far it has worked and we haven't had at trouble. He is 9 and has had the phone since he was 8. 
As for talking to him about the text he is at the age where I feel like you can explain to him that it seems like his dad as till has bitter feelings about everything but to remember there is always 2 sides to every story that he is being told. This is something I have told my son and then t has helped a lot! Wish you the best on this.

Answer

I got my first cell phone when I was in middle school. My dad worked nights and my parents were divorced so he wanted to make sure I could get a hold of him. My mother didn't want anything to do with me so it was just me and my dad.

Answer

Discuss it with your son, he's only 9! But don't bash his dad. Then talk to his dad about the text and politely remind him that the 2 of you, no matter how you feel about each other, must maintain a certain civil relationship in regards to the upbringing of your child. It takes a village to raise a child. His text is unacceptable and he needs to keep your son out of his opinions. Good luck!

When is too young??

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