This month is over

Before it even really started. Me and my husband were about to bd. And I made a comment. Only because I'm self conscious. I'm always self conscious since I had Alex. ( gnarly c-section scar) and my overall apppearance. I just don't feel beautiful anymore.

Either way I was looking for comfort but instead got the exact opposite and needless to say my feelings are so hurt. I kinda just want to feel beautiful again.

Sometimes I wonder if it was just supposed to be Alex. Like he was my little slice of perfection and I was only supposed to have the opportunity to be pregnant for those 6 months. Losing a child is such a heavy weight/burden.

I'm still unannouncing my pregnancy. Four months later.

I'm just sad and embarrassed frankly.