Today his daughter age is obviously different, and now that she's a teenager officially, it's somewhat real that I am semi-responsible for the care of a teenager that isn't mine and I can't REALLY tell her what to do and understand how to enforce the "rules" with conviction.

I'm still learning. People make it out to be easier than it really is. The mom (his ex-wife) is a psycho and if the daughter cries wolf, she flips a freaking shit on everyone.

I tell the daughter what to do here and there but there is just no 'what to do' go-to when she doesn't listen. I tell him, he tells me "she's a kid/teen, she's gonna do that" or "I'll take care of it" but it doesn't stop her from doing it again.

He doesn't want her to avoid him or decide not to come to our house every other weekend and on Wednesday evenings - so I sometimes think there's a lot of ass kissing.. Or just going around discipline or necessary boundaries so he doesn't have to deal with drama.

This weekend set me off because we went out of town and allowed her to bring a friend. Both were mouthy and unruly most of the time. Today we come home and I made them shower and clean off their muddy shoes - they used my good towels and washcloths to do so (the daughter KNOWS those are off limits) and then leaves everything in the bathroom on the floor and mud everywhere. Then when I told them to clean the bathroom, the response was, "what? Why? It's not messy.." Uh... I couldn't hold it. So I said, "that's a lie, go clean up the bathroom and never use my good towels again, and take everything to the basement that's dirty. And clean your room." It wasn't in a nice tone AT ALL. I went downstairs and said something to him and he said okay.. Like I should have done what I did and it's okay that I did.

I just don't think I need to clean up after a 13 year old and her friends like they're toddlers.

Neither of the girls have talked to me since and have yelled for him to go upstairs to talk to him a couple of times. I ask him what each one was about, and he tells me in detail... All things that could have been said without him going upstairs by talking from the stairs like the daughter normally does.

I guess I'm just annoyed. And need to come up with a plan on how to attack these situations when u typically have been just keeping my mouth closed when I shouldn't be because things are progressively getting out of hand.

Anyone with new stepmom (dads girlfriend) experience, your thoughts and feedback is appreciated. Don't be an ass about it though (like my friends who think the answer is the be a bitch and enforce unrealistic rules and bitch out my SO because he should be acting like an ass to his daughter)