My dad and mom had joint custody of me so I lived with both of them. My dad doesn't have family here so I noticed very young he'd guilt trip me when I didn't spend time with him. He'd say things like, "if you aren't with your mom you need to be with me because you're all I have" or he'd put me on punishment if he found out I spent time with my other family or friends. The older I got the more clingy he became. I often felt like his wife instead of daughter. I was responsible for cooking for him, washing, folding and putting away his clothes and going on trips with him and his friends. The more I tried to become independent the harder he'd try to force a relationship on me. It even got to the point where he'd threaten to take away my privileges if I didn't sit next to him on the couch so he could wrap his arm around me while we watched tv. Once he got married I thought it would change but then he wanted me to hang out with him and his wife. One night we got into an argument and he beat me, (choked me until I was unconscious, slapped me, punched me, body slammed me, etc) I didn't call the police unfortunately because I was always taught "what happens In this house, stays in the house." I went to stay with relatives who slept the beating under the rug and eventually I was sent to live back with my dad. I was told "I deserved what I got because I had a smart mouth" and "parents are allowed to discipline" I was so broken and depressed. Once I was old enough I moved out And tried to limit my relationship with my dad. No matter what he'd constantly want to be around me. Once I got married and had a child he started coming around more. He would come over 4-5 days a week for 3-6 hours a day. I hated having him around and I didn't really feel comfortable with him around my baby but I still let him because my family would guilt trip me whenever I cut him off saying "he's your dad you need to respect him" "you should be happy you have a dad" "he deserves to be around his grandchild etc" I finally cut him off when he kept violating the rules I had In place for my daughter and household (being too clingy to my daughter and coming over after I told him I didn't want company) Now I'm pregnant and my family is saying I'm wrong for keeping him away from his grandchildren.

What can I do to make it clear I'm doing what's best for my sanity and my family's safety. Help!