Hormones or incompatibility?

Question

My SO and I have been dating for about a year and we just found out that we are expecting twins around February!! But...he and I have a somewhat toxic relationship. Let me explain...he is a retired army veteran and as such certain issues (PTSD, Anxiety, Mood Swings, etc.) were expected. He's come quite a long way in his battle against these issues but still has hiccups. Major ones like he sometimes loses it and hits me....granted less than 30 seconds later he is apologizing profusely and crying while begging for me to forgive him. I just....I don't know what to do. I love him with every fiber of my being and I can't imagine living without him.....I just get scared sometimes. What should I do?

Answer

Hitting/aggresion is never ok it's not a hickup it's abuse unfortunently no matter how minimal it is. If he has the urge to hit when he's stressed/angry what have you then it leaves the door open for it to escalate...esspecialy with babies on the way. I would suggest leaving honestly...you can't help someone with a struggle like that as a SO and with twins you won't have time to help. There are ways to leave on good terms and still allow him to see his babies though...if it is that minimal that might be the route that's best/fair for everyone.

Answer

He needs help. Now. If he refuses, you honestly need to leave. This is something he needs to start sorting out before your babies come into the picture. My husband is active duty army and thru the years we've seen a lot of things like this and so many men refuse to get help because they think it makes them weak or some sort. My husband has lost guys at home due to ptsd taking over. Our vets need help, it's so sad. The help is available but they usually don't take it and sometimes when they do ask for help they are brushed off. If he's out, he can get help with the VA or any civilian provider his insurance will cover. But truly, he needs help before things get even worse. I can't imagine what you're going through. My husband sometimes has anger fits, but he's never put his hands on me, that's where I'd draw the line. You shouldn't be afraid in your own home, of your own husband. Please talk to him, gently, and suggest he seeks help so you guys can be happy together when the babies arrive.

Answer

I had a boyfriend that was an alcoholic. He was a marine and had ptsd really bad. When he would drink it was like he didn't recognize me and would beat me. He caused me to lose our child because I was stupid enough to stay. He did eventually get help. After I left him and is now doing well in his life. He needs help and if he loves you and hus unborn babies he will. If not you need to protect yourself and those babies and get out.

Answer

sorry but none of those issues are a good enough excuse to hit you! you need to leave, that might be enough motivation for him to get his shit together and he may change or he may not but either way you are in danger staying in that situation. run!!

Answer

I think you should leave him too. You don't deserve it. If not, think about it this way: Now you have to protect two little kids. What if he he hits you and you fall and something happens to the kids? You are a mom now, you have to protect your children. Or, do you want your children to grow up and experience violence toward their mom? What does your husbands violence tell them how relationships works when they are older? Please take care of yourself and be safe!

Answer

Leave it's controlling you without you realising it thinking you need him when honestly u don't at all

Hormones or incompatibility?

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