Light a candle? How do you deal with your grief?

Question

So glow thinks I should lite a candle today. I feel more like breaking candles and screaming. I feel mad it's not fair. I tried to do everything right an I have already had a miscarriage. I feel so angry I don't know if I will even try again. I got out of bed on the wrong side today for sure.

Ok rant over has anyone else done anything to help? Maybe I will go buy a special candle or something. I have read releasing a ballon. Plant a tree or flowers. I have seen tattoos and shirts made. Special keepsake boxes? Please share or add pictures

Answer

First loss, I laid in the fetal position and sobbed for a while.  Avoided any possible situation in which I would see a pregnant woman or baby.  It took a couple weeks for me to start feeling better.  
Second loss wasn't nearly as bad.  I didn't let myself get as attached.  Didn't even say the p word out loud.  Or the b word.  I had a very reassuring doc and she was able to get the ball rolling to see why I am not able to maintain, so that was incredibly comforting.
I hope you are able to find some peace soon, this kind of loss is terrible and a complete mind f*ck.  Cut yourself some slack, you will be ok when you are ok.  If throwing a candle helps, go for it.

Answer

My husband and I lost our first baby in April. We planted a tree outside of our bedroom window. We leave the blind up during the day so we can look out there and see it. We also bought a solar powered light so that even at night the tree is lit. I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer

This little lovie for our baby girl now lives under my pillow. If I have trouble sleeping I'll reach for it for support like she would have.

Answer

I posted a topic awhile back about rituals for loss; there's a link to a good article in that if you can find it. If not and you're interested, just let me know.

Also, anger is normal and healthy in this situation. Be angry. Be really fucking angry. Feeling your emotions is healing. Bottling them is not. Well, this is what my therapist tells me anyway. :)

Sending you lots of love and strength.

Answer

I completely relate to your angry feelings! I wanted to shatter something very fragile into a thousand pieces or take a baseball bat to a bookcase or something to get it out! I went to kickboxing and used my anger as motivation til I was blue in the face and sweaty as all get out! I also heard of a woman in my support group that went to a tag sale and bought cheap used dishes. Took them out to her garage and smashed each of them one by one. Sounds incredible!!

Light a candle? How do you deal with your grief?

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