Am I being selfish?

Question

I'm due in March 2016 and my brothers 3rd is due in October 2015. I have 4 siblings 3 of which have 6 kids between them. My mom babysat all of their kids from 6 weeks to still. Ages are 3-10. She has the 3yo all day everyday and will have the infant when it reaches 6 weeks. She does all of this for free and provides 3 meals a day for 4 of them. 
We planned to pay for day care as we live 45mins from her and did not want to stick her with our kid. Unfortunately some things have come up and we had to take that from daycare budget. I want my mom to watch our child. But just our child I think 2 infants would be to much for her. I plan to pay her the remainder of the day care budget. I want her to make my brother and his wife pay for day care. They have been taking advantage for 5 years. And honestly my mom takes care of all my siblings and their kids. Seriously my 30 yo sister her 2 kids and my 25 yo brother live with her. I just want my turn. And unlike them I am more than happy to pay her or I even offered to buy her a car so she could drive to my house. But she will not tell my other siblings no, and therefore is basically telling me no.

Answer

I'm sorry, but her arrangements with your siblings have nothing to do with you. Life isn't fair or equal and that includes adult children (who for some reason have a bunch of kids), who can't pay for daycare. Your mom doesn't owe you anything- maybe she would rather have this time of her life to herself than being a full time caregiver? You are no better than your siblings whom you claim are taking advantage.

Take the free daycare your mom offers graciously (my mom lives in another country so count your lucky stars) and stop trying to "kick out" your siblings' kids. This will cause so much drama between you and them and their spouses it will never be worth it.

Answer

Your brother's childcare arrangements are between your mother and your brother. You can't do anything to force him to pay money, and you can't do anything to force your mom to accept compensation from him. I think it's generous that you are offering to pay for her to watch your child but beyond that you can't control any of the other pieces of this puzzle.

Answer

Lol this is crazy you're like well they are using her. But you're doing the same thing. She should be able to live her life now she took care of her kids. You are being very selfish. Smh

Answer

Yes you sound selfish, childish and rude.

Answer

How you pay your mom is your business. How your brother does it is his business.

Answer

Yes, that's very selfish. Who cares how long your mom has been watching his children? If she's willing, she's willing. That's her business and no one else's. The arrangement was made between your brother and mother and it needs to stay that way. You're not able to afford day care for two kids, imagine him trying to pay for four kids! Awful that you want to for your own brother to pay an arm and a leg because you want to take advantage of your mom.

Answer

Um sorry but who are you to decide that your brother has to pay? That's between him and your mom... 😐

Answer

Stop having kids if you constantly pawn them off on granny . She did her time

Answer

You don't sound the least bit selfish. Sounds like another case of grandma just wants maximum time with grad kids, and although she's probably exhausted, thinks asking for payment might result in less quality time with the kids. Or that's my experience.

I still want to encourage you to pay her and buying her a car is very thoughtful. Maybe it will set a example to your siblings.

Answer

I feel like you are being selfish. Maybe your mom doesn't want to paid to watch his kids. My mom watches my daughter when I'm at work and she be offened if I try to pay her. She loves my daughter and loves watching her.

Am I being selfish?

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