I did two rounds of blood tests, two IV's, pelvic exam, ultrasounds, and by 1am the ER doc told us he needed to consult with OB because the ultrasound tech said he thought it was an ectopic pregnancy.  OB came in and told us it was twins, but we had to remove them immediately to prevent further blood loss in my abdomen.  I didn't even know I was bleeding.

We were both so excited about the twins and devastated at the same time.  This is our first pregnancy, we have no twins in our families, but I've always wanted and prayed for twins. I got out of surgery at 4:30AM and apparently had blood in my entire abdomen. I am lucky to be alive, but I can't help but be devastated that we lost my babies before we even got to celebrate or announce we had two.  

I was in so much pain the first 4 days after surgery I couldn't even let myself cry, because crying made it physically painful and more pain caused more crying.  My husband was falling apart and I couldn't even be there for him, I had to be strong for both all of us.  Now that I'm starting to heal I fall apart over every little thing.  I'm nervous to go back to work because I know I'll fall apart there too.  I just needed a space to tell my story and vent a little.  All I can do at this point is be grateful I am alive with so much family/friend support and try for more babies.