Is it okay to want to talk to a friend if you are going through domestic abuse?

Question

I asked a friend to pray for my relationship this morning. She can tell something is wrong and wants to meet up tonight. What should and shouldn't I tell her? My SO and I are both friends with her and her husband, but they knew him before they knew me. I don't want to play victim and make him seem like a bad person because they've never seen the side of him that is violent and cruel. I don't plan on giving details but what should I say? I need someone to talk to and this is a woman of faith who I trust. Am I making a bad choice?

Answer

If you feel that she would run to him or her hubby with everything you've said, don't spill everything to her. If you feel that you can trust her completely, spill. Spill everything. And I mean everything. Any little thing you need to get off your chest, do it. Keeping quiet will only backfire on you in the future. I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship that eventually led to physical, and I hid everything. Everyone called us the love birds because I made our relationship seem so happy and perfect, when in reality it was the opposite. When I left him and started finally telling everyone the truth, some didn't believe me. Only a close few had ever thought something was wrong, but never thought this bad. 
Tell her (or someone you totally trust) every little thing. You'll feel much better once you do.

Answer

I think they would want to know and I think he is a bad person if he abuses you. If they don't believe you then you should lose him and them. Maybe telling someone will get you one step closer to leaving it. Which is what you should do.

Answer

You need to tell someone.  I've been in a couple of bad relationships and while I didn't always listen to the advice given me I am so grateful that I had someone to talk to. Tell her that things aren't as good as they once were and that part of you is frightened. If she asks for more, either tell her you aren't comfortable giving specifics or give one or two examples.  Don't villianize him and try not to victimize yourself.  You can do this.  If you need to get out, get out.  No one deserves to be abused.

Answer

It's best not to confide in his friends. I had an abusive partner and no one saw his older side. He got really angry and convinced everyone that I was a lying manipulator. They of course believed him majority because what they knew about him.

Is it okay to want to talk to a friend if you are going through domestic abuse?

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