Today is rough

I had an ectopic pregnancy in May of last year and found out I was expecting again in May of this year. Last year was a nightmare as I went through it completely alone because my ex and I were already broken up when I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks.
Today I've been crying on and off because even though I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby I still emotionally hurt from losing my first child. 
My boyfriend doesn't really know how upset I still get about my angel baby. And I don't think he'd understand anyway because he's never been through it.