I'm just sad
I'm eight months pregnant and i know there are people worse off than me, but I'm absolutely miserable. For a long time I didn't even know if I'd be able to have kids (infertility runs down both sides of my family) and that was ok with me. My life is a wreck at any given time and I had no desire to bring another human into my mess. I found out I was pregnant suddenly and unexpectedly and have been a mess the entire time. I haven't been able to work, so I have no money to get anything for my coming child. I can't even buy food most of the time, but because of what I'd be making if I WAS working (bare minimum) I don't qualify for assistance. I'm nowhere near my family. Originally the father and I were together and tried to make things work, but he ended up being verbally and emotionally abusive. Now we're stuck living together and it's a toss up daily if he's going to pick a fight or just ignore me altogether. I've been functionally depressed since I was as a teenager and I'm also bi polar and this absolutely isn't helping. I try to avoid the house as much as possible, but there aren't many places for me to go with no money. I love my friends but I don't have many of them close to me (practically none) and pretending not to be miserable 24/7 is exhausting to the point that I often just stay home now.
I'm just so sick of everything