There are tons of myths surrounding pregnancies (“how you’re carrying determines the sex of the baby!”) but when you’re desperate to get pregnant, you feel like you’ll listen to just about anything. That being said, after our other articles of good advice to take here’s a quick list of things to ignore.

“Being on birth control for a long time will delay pregnancy.”

It may take a little time for your cycle to right itself, but not particularly long. Also, a small amount of time for your body to get back to normal is worth it for the ethereal wonder that is birth control. By the way, studies have shown that women who take birth control pills for long periods of time may find it a little easier to get pregnant once they go off the pill than other women. So no stress, kay?

“You can only get pregnant in the missionary position.”

Girl, you can be upside down in a swing with your partner wearing a Nicholas Cage mask while holding a Super Soaker full of semen. If his sperm meets your egg that way, you can get pregnant.

“A woman can’t get pregnant from sex unless she orgasms.”

Also, the earth is flat! Who comes up with these? If a woman couldn’t get pregnant unless she orgasmed there would be way fewer children running around on the planet. Humans would be almost extinct. If there is any correlation at all between childbearing women and orgasming women it’s that women who orgasm easily may be more likely to have sex more often whereas women who have trouble reaching orgasm may be more likely to say, “You know what? I’d actually rather spend the night watching Friday Night Lights re-runs.”

"If you’re not pregnant by 35, you may as well give up and start accumulating your cat harem.”

You’re a fun-loving, athletic, youthful 35 year old and heads up, they will still refer to your (hopefully) eventual state as a “geriatric pregnancy.” The data on women over 35 not being able to conceive is several centuries old-- in reality about 82% of women 35-39 are able to get pregnant within a year. While fertility does lessen after 40, it doesn’t do it equally to everyone. So start trying and know that these days there are lots of ways to get help if things don’t work naturally after 6 to 12 months.

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Pregnant?????!!!