Never wanted something so bad

I hate every month praying, hoping, fingers crossed for it to be the month I get a BFP... Was told I have a minor case of PCOS 4 months ago. Started taking metformin, I've been getting positives on OPKs...last month I started first round of clomid...last Monday ended up in extreme pain that lasted 3 days, I went to the ER to find out I had a cyst rupture... Friday night the BF and I went out with his coworkers, he tells them all I'm pregnant, and he brought up again last night asking me if I was....uuuugggghhhh I want sooo bad to say YES YES  😓 anyone else feel overwhelmed with emotions?