How to you all deal with negativity and TTC gossip?

Question

My husband's family is very over involved in each other's lives, and they are not always the nicest people. A couple people in particular have been excluding us because they say they are tired of hearing about how we can't get pregnant again. One of those people even said that I ruined her pregnancy by having a miscarriage right after her baby shower (I didn't even tell her about it, she heard it through the gossip wheel).

Today I posted on my Facebook an article about a study on how many women admit to binge drinking while pregnant. Just a random article I found interesting... Well one of the other insensitive family members commented "you're pregnant now? Awesome now we don't have to hear about your inability to get knocked up anymore." Now I feel I just can't take this anymore.

My husband has tried to talk to them, but there really is no talking to a-holes like this.

After ALL THAT (believe me there is sooooo much more), I'm looking for tips and ideas on how you all deal with negativity and gossip and just generally rude or insensitive comments about your TTC woes. Whether the comments are intentionally rude, or just innocent not knowing ....how do you guys deal?

Also feel free to share your own horror stories hahah! AND baby dust and well wishes to all!! 😊

Answer

As far as I'm concerned, no one else should be discussing your status during the TTC process. This is why my DH and I haven't told our families because everyone has something negative to say.   It's our lives no one else's. Who are they to say. And if they're dumb enough to say that you ruined their pregnancy by having a miscarriage, then I wouldn't have anything to do with them. I've had to cut immediate family members out of my life for over 3 years now. It's lonely sometimes, but my DH the kids and I are so much better off now. I would not stand for that. I would say something to them personally. I wouldn't care who they were or where they were. They shouldn't be making those comments in the first place. If they can run their mouths, I can put you in your place and embarrass you in front of everyone. That will teach them to talk. Stand up for yourself and your SO. Don't let them walk all over you.

Answer

Every time my parents call to talk the first question is "are you pregnant yet?"  It is very tempting to ignore their calls.

Answer

I get the accidentally insensitive 'advice.' like my family doesn't realize that their comments are upsetting, but I really get upset when they tell me I should just look into adoption. I know they mean well, but it still gets to me. Last month I had a chemical, a blazing bfp and when I started to cramp and bleed I had a meltdown. Called my mom and she came over with her fiancée (who was drunk), and after showing them the pic of the test he says that it was probably just all in my head. All the while I'm crying my eyes out. That really pissed me off. 
I quit talking to my family about it, except updated on when I go to the Dr, but they ask. If they didn't actually ask, I wouldn't say anything at all. It's just easier to ignore the insensitivity (since talking to them doesn't work apparently). It sucks, and I wish I could talk to them about it,but I get the bs 'advice' like to stop trying and it'll happen, can adopt etc... So I quit taking about it. I'm Thankful for this community, since everyone I know gets pregnant when their spouse just looks at them. So they have no clue what a toll TTC and infertility can take on you. 
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that, but you don't need the negativity. 🍀 ✨ ✨ ✨

Answer

Just tell them you aren't trying anymore. It sucks to not be able to share your happiness and sorrow with family but not having the negativity is awesome. We are trying for #3 and haven't told a single soul except for my two best friends. Our families think we don't want anymore kids.

Answer

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this on top of The stress TTC. I guess everyone is different , some are stronger than others, handle gossip better than others, and like to express everything that they do.  This is our 4th cycle trying, only my husband and I know about it. I am not telling my best friend, or my parents, or coworkers that we are trying. I know my weakness, and I would gate people to ask me every month, have you tested, are you pregnant, why is taking so long, it only took us one try! I don't need that stress, so I keep it a secret so I don't get hurt. I was annoyed even before trying, when everyone would ask me, when are you guys having a baby etc. so I would suggest to stop talking about trying, only discuss it with your partner. Bc telling people about it clearly is causing a problem and stress for you.

How to you all deal with negativity and TTC gossip?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey