Love vs Logic
Before this boyfriend, I was totally against having kids- mainly because I'm very small, and I feel like pregnancy would physically destroy me. I'm also super interested in living life to the fullest, traveling, and treating myself & the people around me whenever possible- which isn't possible with kids at my age (almost 18).
But I'm currently having a pregnancy scare (even though I'm on BC) And the thing is, I'm not even scared. For once, the thought of looking into the eyes of a small human, part me and part my love, makes me melt. Makes me almost hope the scare is more than just a scare. Especially since, when I told my boyfriend I needed to get a pregnancy test, he was so loving and he hugged me closer at the idea of us being parents, and as he said when we first started having sex, if I got pregnant, he'd love to stay.
I think a lot of this whole "baby fever" thing has to do with the fact that I trust him so much.
But then my logic kicks in, I get terrified of the pain and the binkies and not getting to travel for a decade and being broke and what if I mess up..
Honestly I'm not even sure what this post is about, I'm just quite confused. Damn hormones.
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