abused over a period of over 10 years

I never told anyone this and I feel like I should get this off of my chest.....I have been able to block instances in my sub conciousness mind and they sometimes appear out of nowhere and I get extremely depressed and I try so hard to block the incidents out of my head. I can no longer remember anything before 6 and Idk if anything happened before then but I made it to where I no longer remember... okay so the first incident happened when I was 6, this memory just recently came back to me. I was at my granny's daycare and this older girl told me to get in her cot and I did and then she started touching my body parts and I didn't stop her because I didn't understand what was going on, she did this multiple times, second time was when my mom's ex bf grabbed my ass, I was 13 , I was shocked, I didn't say anything . and then the biggie. I was 15 and I had a 18 year old bf, I knew he wanted to have sex when we entered the room and I thought I was ready but I wasn't as soon as the door closed I changed my mind, he said there was only one way I'm getting out, he got on top of me and at first I tried to push him off but he was too big so I stopped and I let him do it, I blamed myself , and I let him do it multiple times after thinking that I deserve it bcus I acted like such a slot leading a grown man on like that 😔😔😔 those are the only instances I remember . I feel like there are many more I see my mind going there but I can't remember for the life of me. I think something extremely traumatizing happened to me as a child and I erased it from my memories. I dont know if i should talk to someone about this, do I want to remember the other times? what should I do