Want him to break my heart

I've been in a relationship for about 2 years now, and it's always been amazing. It still is. It's just that I am so unbelievably busy and have almost no time to see him, and when I do, it's always taking hours from when I should be volunteering or doing my homework, I have goals to become a scientist and he isn't even in school.  There's parts of me that wish he would just break my heart. I want to be with him, and can't picture not being with him but it's all so complicated. I would have more time for myself and my schooling and my job, I would never leave him, ugh it's all complicated and I sound ridiculous, has anyone else ever been this way? I just needed to vent