No more trying.

At this point I've given up on the idea of having kids altogether. My husband still is optimistic, but I find it difficult to keep my head up when I've been having a lot of trouble trying to get in the mood...
I haven't been that close to God recently... I really should be in His word more, but I just feel so bleh (for lack of a better word). It also doesn't help that I don't have any sisters in Christ around me where I live to encourage me.