Anyone have trouble bonding with baby?

Question

I don't want rude comments.  I find it hard to feel love for something I've never met.  I felt this way during my first pregnancy too.  I keeping seeing people post about how in love they are with thei unborn child and I just can't relate.  With my first child, I didn't feel love until she was born.

Answer

I know detachment is a form of emotional protection. I have an arms length approach to my pregnancy at times because I am so high risk. Excitement can be scary because it feels like commitment. The fear of loss can be the cause and you may not even know it. If you aren't concerned about it, carry on. If you feel like its 'not right', try talking to a therapist. Every mom is different and every pregnancy is different. Don't be too hard on yourself!

Answer

I can't say I can relate. I felt a strong bond and love for my first before she was born and now I'm pregnant with my second I feel the same. I even felt a love and bond with the baby I had lost at 12 weeks pregnant. However, I know what you're feeling is very common. My sister felt like that with all three of her kids and found it difficult to bond with her first born even after birth. My 20 year old niece had her first a bit over a month ago and she felt no bond with her baby and is still struggling with bonding with her. She never really wanted children and her pregnancy was a surprise. She was not at all excited about the baby before and after she was born. I think it's sad to be honest, but I'm a completely different person and wanted and planned all three of my pregnancies. I think what and how you feel is just as common and normal as how I feel. In addition, I don't think my husband feels a bond with our second baby yet and that'll come after she is born.

Answer

I feel a sense of protectiveness over my bump, but I'm not dying to meet her. I just can't relate to that emotion. I'm due in 4 weeks and am looking forward to having something to cuddle.

Answer

I just want time to pass and my baby be here.  I went through phases.  First phase,  excitement. Second phase,  i reassured myself that everything would work out.  After having two change of jobs ... that sense of security and excitement dissipated . Now i question myself a lot- did i make the right choice? Will i be a good mom? So bonding with nugget? Some but mostly i just want my chubby baby to be here!

Answer

I'm with Kelly - I feel protective, but as a FTM it's also kind of weird (it's such a foreign sensation, plus not feeling good, etc). I feel like I'd be bonding with a stuffed animal... anything I'm getting in return (at this point) is in my head. But I'm totally understanding that some have a very real bonding experience.

In terms of science, when the baby is born we get oxytocin, which is a chemical designed to enforce bonding with the baby. I have no concerns about how I feel once he's born... For now, he's just my weird little buddy that's always with me, and I'm just his taxi driver.

Answer

I can't relate but I will  say this everyone has there levels of emotion and there's nothing wrong with that

Answer

No... I tried to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years and now I'm 19w pregnant and I only feel love .05% and that's when my baby daddy rubs my belly.

Answer

No your not alone. I feel like a lot of mine stemmed from the fact that we really didn't know what to do when I found out I was pregnant. At first it was "no ones going to support us so we need to think towards abortion" then it was him on abortion and me thinking "well maybe adoption wouldn't be so bad" because the idea of abortion traumatized me... And then I decided I couldn't part with my baby and the SO was a little disappointed and still wants to lean towards adoption and all. I feel like since it wasn't really a big exciting thing in the beginning I have this void of wanting to be excited through the rest. Granted this baby is going to be so loved once it's here, just right now I felt so guilty and still feel some guilt for wanting to keep it so the "love " aspect is more of "there's a small human growing inside me.. Crazy shit man."

Anyone have trouble bonding with baby?

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