My boyfriend wants me to make the first move!!!

Okay I'm really comfortable around my boyfriend but when it comes to initiating with the sex I get nervous and scared Abt it. I've read Abt girls just starting off by rubbing their boyfriends penis & that good stuff to start it up but I'm so self conscious about that. I feel like I'll look stupid . I'm new to this sex game anyway . 19 & just lost my virginity earlier this year have had sex 5 times in total lol. But I am still uncomfortable starting it off and he told me I was he wasn't initiating anymore. Am I stupid for not being comfortable with if by now? & can someone please tell me a way to start it off that would make me atleast a little bit more comfortable 🙁????