Bad memories

So im sitting here watching a movie and the song behind blue eyes comes on. I don't know what caused me to get such awful feelings or memories flooding back to me when I hear it but it does. so much so that I feel sick. The most specific memory is of my moms ex husband. When I was in high school he frequently put up a hidden video camera to record me undressing. I happened to find it and all the previous recordings. My best friend was there when this happend (he was trying to catch her as well because we had just gotten out of our hot tub) I decided not to tell my mom (i know stupid) because I didnt want to hurt her watching her go through the divorce with my dad was hard and i didnt want to cause more pain. However 6 months later he eventually pushed me over the line when he found out i had started having sex. He went crazy. My mom could see he was over reacting I got too scared of him and told her. Im the kind of person who keeps their feelings in and chooses to ignore them. I dont feel like I really can feel anything about it because the situation could have been much worse as it is for many girls and women but I do. I hate it it hurts. I think the fact that i had held it in made the feelings worse. I could never tell my mom it still effects me, she'd blame herself. I dont know I just wanted to get it out there and if anyone has/is experiencing the same any advice on how to shut it out perminatly? Its been 4 years I dont want to care at all anymore even if it just occures periodically.