How long does it take to get over someone you were in love with?

Katie🐢 • Single momma of a beautiful baby boy 💙 09.29.16
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of over a year. Everything was going well but I was overcome with this gut feeling that it wasn't a forever thing. We had moving and marriage plans coming up so I knew I couldn't waste any time breaking it off. 
I'm struggling with my decision for many reasons. One piece is that it hurts me to hurt him. I feel like the scum of the earth for hurting him. I also am still in love with him. I miss him like crazy. I feel like I am mourning him. The thought of not seeing him or talking to him again is truly heartbreaking. With all that said, my gut is still strong enough to have confidence that I made the right decision. 
The third reason and possibly the hardest one to talk about is, I've never been alone. I've been dating since I was 15 and soon will be 25. I call myself a jumper. Once one relationship is over, it's never more than a month a half until I am dating someone new. So this time I told myself that it's time that I spend sometime on my own and get to know myself. I've never felt more lonely and in conjunction with missing my ex, it's been really hard. 
Do you guys have any suggestions/advice? 
Thanks in advance 💜

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COMMENT (10)

Sh

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There is no set amount of time it takes to get over someone. You love/d him and it's going to be hard, especially at first. You just have to take it one day at a time. That being said, I think it's s great idea to actually focus on yourself for once and not on a relationship. Start a hobby, exercise, get involved in things and just keep yourself busy. That's the best way to help get through a break up, while also focusing on yourself. Best of luck!

Ka

Katie🐢 • Nov 30, 2015
Thank you ❤️

Fe

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I spent a solid year and a half working on myself before I started dating again.

Al

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I loved one guy before my husband and I was single two years after then my husband came along

Ma

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With my ex it took a few weeks he's a dead beat and I found better man now 😊💕

Mo

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I read in Cosmo a long time ago it takes about half the length of the relationship. Hang in there Hun!

Av

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Give yourself a weekend to really grieve. Listen to all the music that reminds you of him. Look through photos and momentos. Ugly cry and feel everything. Drink some wine. And then, Sunday night, throw it all out. Don't store things "just in case". Give away things that are too nice to just toss (sweaters, DVDs, whatever). Have a friend come over to help if you need the moral support. Starting Monday, come up with a new routine (as much as possible). Start a new hobby that you can do at home when you are alone. Take a class. Be sure to exercise. Reach out to friends. See a counselor if you feel like that would be helpful. It will still take some time, but you have to make the conscious decision to move on.  Break ups suck, even when it was the right thing to do. But you are a strong woman. And don't let your fear of loneliness mess up this exciting opportunity to find out more about yourself! 

Av

Avery • Nov 30, 2015
Love me above living my life to the fullest. PLEASE DONT DO THAT!!!

Av

Avery • Nov 30, 2015
Thank you. And I'll be honest: I never did this. I pined away for so long after guys until I found someone else to fill that space in my heart. It was so unhealthy, and I wish I could go back and redo so much of my 20s because of it. I put my life on hold so many time because I put finding a guy to

Ka

Katie🐢 • Nov 30, 2015
Thank you ❤️ that is great advice