Its harder than, "when you stop trying, itll happen"

Loryn • Mommy to b/g twins born june 20th, 2016 at 31 weeks. Now pregnant with #3! Due Spring 2019!
When I got married two years ago we decided to not try but not prevent either. So I got off birth control and we stopped using condoms. We figured it would take a year and then my system should be back to normal and cleaned out of any toxins from the bc. Well when it approached two years of not trying, but not preventing, still nothing, not even a scare. So I went to the Dr this year in July and they figure it's just because I'm irregular, so they put me on clomid. Its now been three cycles of using clomid and still nothing. My cycles are more normal but that's about it. I'm so over everyone telling me "just relax" "when you stop trying it will happen" "don't think about it". Well I wasn't exactly trying for almost two years with nothing. I didn't temp, I didn't test opks, I didn't log every detail into three different apps to see if I could be pregnant. None of that just didn't use any protection didn't think about it too much and nothing....just needed to vent. I know I know when it's meant to happen it will. But I hate seeing so many women/girls who have sex once don't even want to be pregnant, aren't married or with someone stably, say they dont wanna give up weed or smoking even though they are pregnant, etc and it happens just like that. Every time I start my period I break down and my husband has to reesure me that it'll all work out. Sorry this is long just been on my mind a lot after reading lots of comments and such. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read, and to those who feel the same and understand the pain, I wish you all the luck in the world.