When your ttc and find out your husband is cheating...

Question

Not only that... but it's our oldest daughter's 7th birthday... ugh... I feel so stupid... and I'm more upset for our kids than anything. Has anyone else gone through this? How do you cope? I have suggested counseling but he won't do it but says he still wants to be with me... I am so lost...

Answer

Would you want your daughters to be with a man that does this to them? Be an example of strength and power in womanhood. He must seek help ASAP and change or you need to leave him. Period. My mom taught me from a young age that we accept the love we think we deserve and I will forever be grateful for her example of independence and strength.

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Give him the ultimatum. If he still wants to be with you, then he'll go to counseling.

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I have been there but if he won't do the therapy there isn't much you can do and is a huge red flag that he doesn't want to. He should be doing anything and everything to make the relationship between the two of you.  In my own situation I told my husband we were finished if he didn't show me he was serious I mentioned therapy and he was the one who found the therapist and set our first appointment. I realize this is fresh and getting your ttc dreams dashed sucks. But you have to put that on hold and ask yourself if you still want to be with him. Clearly he has problems now it's time to see if he is man enuff to fix them if not then he is not the man for you and in time you will be able to move on. Sending you a hug...

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I would've killed him .... Seriously him & the bitch js

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Hi Hun I'm sorry that you are  going through this. I have not been in this situation but know many that have been.

It isn't about what he wants it's about what you want. I do believe these man have to learn that their actions have consequences, otherwise they will do it again and again thinking that u will forgive him...as I said to another lady here before I would personally leave him with my kids and he would have to sweat blood to get me back and earn my trust back, which is in most cases is almost impossible. If he didn't respect you and ther kids enough to do this, than you shouldnt think about his feelings neither. 
Believe this one I know- man cry when they get caught but that doesn't mean they wont do it again

Praying for u Hun , be strong for yourself and for your child/ren 💓💓

Answer

Girl, you're stronger than me! I wouldn't even be able to consider counseling. My now husband and I cheated on each other in our teens (the beginning stages of the relationship) and moved forward but, now that we're married, I respect the vows we made and I expect him to do the same.  Our marriage is our sanction. The second either of us defiles that sanction will be the end of our marriage in my book.

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I wish you the best of luck. If it doesn't work out, you will get through it and someday it will become easier to cope. You got this.

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Do not let him call the shots here. Put your foot down and tell him it's marriage counseling or their is no marriage. He knows if he goes he will have to tell you things he is trying to keep from you like his feelings. He will have to deal with the shame he brought on himself. If you don't go to counseling what has happened will never be truly addressed. Just flat out tell him your making the appointment and if he doesn't go the next appointment you make will be with a lawyer. Put your foot down and he will change his tune real quick.

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I say that when someone cheats in a relationship the relationship is not worth keeping. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you forgive him this time he'll think it's okay to do it the next time. If someone thinks they can get away with something they will keep doing it whether you choose to believe it or not.

Answer

Been through it with my ex fiancé unfortunately our relationship couldn't survive it I know longer looked at him the same he had a whole separate relationship with the woman she knew nothing about me and I knew nothing about her.....I strongly suggest counseling because you guys are married it's also best that u get all your questions answered and know it's not your fault I struggled with that but then I had to understand I had no control over his actions take...with time and counseling your heart will heal good luck to you

When your ttc and find out your husband is cheating...

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