Am I in the wrong?

Question

I know it's wrong to go through your partners phone but my boyfriend and I have an open book type policy.

So anyway, I had to pee. Went to the bathroom. It was locked with him inside for the first time ever. He unlocks it when he's done in the shower. There's semen on the bath mat. I have nothing against him masterbating because I occasionally do it. But he promised me he wouldn't watch porn. So I was suspicious and asked him if he broke my promise and watched it. He said no but I could tell he was lying. 
Check his phone and his search his cleared... He told me before he clears it after it gets too full. Well I was using his phone earlier and there were 3 previous searches yesterday and suddenly it filled up?

He acted all mad at me but I just wanted to know if he broke his promise. I know he's embarrassed but I'm heartbroken to even think of him looking at porn...

Answer

I understand where u are coming from I had the same problem with my husband...I was into some freaky nasty shit when we met so was he, and our sex life was not the way it should have been...now he feels like I'm boring, but I'm just trying to actually make love not just fuck.I had a struggle sleeping with anyone I had feelings for, I was so detached and he changed that about me which is good but now trying to have a healthy view about sex and everything has been so hard and porn will make it WORSE. People take porn too lightly and think it's no big deal well coming from someone that used to view sex that way I get it but u have no idea usually until it's too late that the porn can and will affect u negatively

Answer

Men don't watch it for the actual women, they watch it as a stress release. It's easy and a quick way to chill them out.

Answer

And watch a documentary about adult film workers I promise you if you saw them as people and knew their story and why they do it and how it affects them later on in life etc you would see it's all just a big lie put out that this is normal and ok ITS NOT...think about that would you do it? If not then why watch it?

Answer

I know my own insecurities are a buzzkill but I'm working on them. I've kicked drug addictions, alcohol addiction and a porn addiction I can kick my insecurities if I try and try. But why can't he just stop? And if he doesn't want to why lie to me? If feel better if he didn't just lie and
Promise so I would be happy. I'd rather hear the truth.

Answer

How do you masturbate without porn lol?

Answer

It's going to happen, he is male and it's only natural.. Men are visual creatures and like something to look at when masterbating. I don't think it's a big deal as long as it isn't regular and he is doing it instead of sex. He probably felt pressured to make the promise to you to keep you happy.

Answer

That's his personal business. You're a girlfriend, not even a wife. Eithier way he is allowed to masturbates...like seriously who are you to tell him what he can or can't do to himself?

Answer

yeah he more than likely lied and watched it. if they are going to do it they are regardless of whatever promise you did or didn't make. it's ridiculous and I don't understand it either but be prepared for the fight of your life and a good many lies If you really want him to stop watching it.

Answer

Personally, I wouldn't care if I caught my husband watching porn but that's me. If you are honestly upset by the thought, talk to him but be prepared, he will probably lie and tell you what you want to hear. Some men, not all but some, would rather lie than risk their SO getting mad and potentially having a fight. Regardless, tell him why you have such an issue with it, discuss it openly, see what he says. You can't prove that he was watching it, so see if he'll be honest with you. Good luck!

Answer

Here's a little background I guess: 
I've gave him many options on what he wanted to do and he decided to promise to never watch it again.

I offered to watch porn with him before, mutual masterbation etc. I've gave him many options and made it 100% clear that I don't care about masterbating. I masterbate occasionally when he's not home. It's the porn.

Before he and I met I was a porn addict. I got into it and then became so desensitized to it that I was watching porn showing 'rape' or other freaky taboo things like 'incest' or such. 
At the beginning of our relationship I was still working through those problems and was still watching porn. Not as hardcore as I was but I was working my way back to the regular stuff. 
Then I finally quit. Got it all out of my system and vowed to never watch again for the rest of my life. It made it so hard for me to be intimate with anyone because I couldn't orgasm.

I told him that I am uncomfortable with him watching it and would prefer if he wouldn't. It gives people wrong expectations about sex and about how people are supposed to act during and after. 
He promised me he would never watch porn. But he has. I know when he lies and he clears his history after being in the bathroom alone.

It just really makes me uncomfortable. 
I'm suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety and I'm extremely insecure (thanks to that porn addiction I had...) 
It makes me feel as if I'm not good enough for him. 
Just as me wanting to bring a vibrating bullet into sex to help me get off easier makes him feel not good enough. 
I understand men want their alone time and need visual stimulation but I've offered so many times to make him his own porn videos of myself because that would make me feel better but he's said no.

So anyway yeah. There's that.

Am I in the wrong?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products