I have been a carer and a major support person for my now ex fiancé as he has suffered with severe depression. I have been doing this for 2 years and it has taken its toll on me every way possible. I was pushed away and treated like crap. I was abused, used and disrespected. I let it go because I loved him and I knew that it was his depression making him like this. I wanted to help him get better. I forgave or ignored his behaviour. I have been assaulted by him 3 times now. The first time I take the blame for as I totally blew up and threw the first punch. The second time I took his keys because he was drink driving and pulling people down a hill on a mattress. The third and final time, I wanted to talk about or relationship and he blew up at me and strangled me. Police and nursing staff said if he had of held on for another 2-5 seconds I would be dead. The third and final time I pressed charges and put an AVO in place. Even though I didn't want to, it happened anyway due to hospital policies. I'm now out of a very toxic relationship and in a safe place. I encourage all women in a violent  or toxic relationship to seek help and not have the attitude of "it won't happen again" or "things will get better soon" like I did. I felt like I had to stay in a toxic relationship as I love him and had major concerns for his safety and mental health status if I left. Although I'm sad I lost my partner of 5 years and I'm sad I wasn't able to help him get better, at the same time I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and a sense of relief and freedom.