Controlling or reasonable?

Question

I really just want to know some people's opinions. 
If your SO doesn't want or really allow (I say allow because if I were to do this all hell breaks loose so I better not do it) me to hang out with the opposite sex, reguardless if we have or haven't dated/ had sex...does that make him controlling or is it reasonable for him to ask or demand that?

Answer

No he's not being unreasonable. Hoe would you feel if your friend told you "yeah girl, I saw your man having lunch with this little blond the other day". Is it okay because he wasn't in a relationship with her previously and/or hasn't slept with her yet?  Would you be a demanding and controlling wife if you told him not to do that?

Answer

I think it depends on somebody's reasoning more than anything; if it's genuine then I wouldn't consider it controlling because I may have overlooked their concern from my perspective, but any other common excuse seems controlling to me. 😊

Answer

No, he's not. I don't care what anyone says it's inappropriate to hang out with opposite sex friends ALONE in a committed relationship or marriage. It has nothing to do with trust either, it's respect. Don't give people a reason to talk or doubt your intentions, because they will, because most people don't find it appropriate, because it isn't. even though your intentions may be good, doesn't matter. That's just they way it works.

Answer

If he's demanding then yes that's controlling. If you are having a discussion about it and both agree not be friends with/ talk to someone of the opposite sex then it could be considered reasonable. But as much as I love my partner if he told me to stop hanging out with one of my guy friends just because id laugh at him and say yeah.. No.

BUT it all depends on your relationship because everyone is different and has different boundaries.

Answer

It is unreasonable and controlling for him to allow/deny who you choose to hang out with regardless of gender.

Having said that, and this may not pertain to your particular circumstances, but I do find it to be a tad disrespectful if you're in a committed relationship and insist on hanging out with single male guys all the time. Everyonce in a while sure,  specially I'd it's an old friend you've known forever.

Answer

I don't think women should hang out alone with men while married. Group settings ok, and maybe, just maybe someone really close that was a friend before meeting SO. I think seeking out new make friends isn't appropriate.

I say this because I would not think it was appropriate for my husband to be one on one in a social setting with a female. I would have no issue with a group of friends, coworkers, etc. There are some things that aren't appropriate in marriage, and my husband would agree with me. This is just my opinion though.

Answer

as long as he isnt tellin u not to BUT he can with opposite sex. if it is both ways. i understand his concern. i wouldnt be havn it either.  i been married 11 yrs i have one guy friend who lives 700 miles away lol i met before hubby other than that i have no other guy friends n he has no women friends n were fine and happy. u do realize guys are not trying to be a "friend" they want to b with you or have sex unless the guy is gay. is it ok for him to hang out with women at local diners, bars, their home? ask urself r u ok with that

Answer

It seems reasonable to me

Answer

In a true relationship there is equal trust. My boyfriend trusts me implicitly. I can go wherever and hangout with whoever- NEVER ANY ISSUES. His only request is that he know who and where and when I leave I let him know, when I come back I let him know. So he knows I am safe and sound (he lives out of state). And in his professional life he sometimes has to do dinners like that but I ALSO don't mind if he does the same. He also gives me the who,  where and time. This is what an silly relationship is. If he is so adamant and hell bent if you did do such then he has something in him that He is projecting onto you.

Answer

Thanks guys. I can understand both sides. It was going to be in a group setting with all our old friends and my SO was invited to tag along. This guy is an old friend who doesn't come home often because he is in the marines and I've known him 10 plus years. Yes. We dated sophomore year in HS for two months lol. But. I don't consider that anything. But I know that if the tables were turned, I would say heck no unless I could be there. But even with that, he's not comfortable with me or us going to hang out with him and everyone else  so that why I wanted to know if it seemed controlling. Because to me, it seems somewhat unreasonable. 
I ended up respecting him and canceling the plans. And in the end the guy respected me more as a friend and so did my SO. 
It all worked out. Just sucks that being in a relationship can mean no more old friends of the opposite sex.

Controlling or reasonable?

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