Scared to test

It might seem a little strange but hubby and I have been trying for a year and a half for our little bundle. Basically we have the typical think I am and test and nothing thing going on. Well I just realized this past week end I was late but I don't want to test. I'm waiting until new years eve simply because when I've been late before I've started around 8 days late. I'm too scared to test because I'm just tired of the disappointment :( has anyone else ever felt that way before? If so what happened to you?