Who started the fight????????

Ok, so today my boyfriend and I fought. I know it's unhealthy and I need to just leave the relationship and I'm working on that we have two kids just had our second in Nov... It's just not so easy to up and leave right now 
 
Sooo long story short during an argument today He broke our glass table and I lost it! I attacked him and started punching him in his face he was saying Stop but I kept doing it about 5 or 6 times.. I know I'm horrible. Please try not to judge I just need some help. I'm so embarrassed that's why it's anonymous. But yeah So he ended up choking me so I would stop hitting him.  Do I have a right to be mad that he broke the table and choked me ?? Idk.. Who started it me or him ? Thanks in advance